How are you?

 

How are you? 

I find myself asking yet again,

not out of habit, but because it is a

question that never gets replied

 

And each night,

I find myself wondering,

if you are still in pain

I know you must be,

surely your pain runs deeper than mine

 

I cannot bring myself to ask you this,

it lives only in my head

I still remember your poignant smile,

as I asked “How are you?” for the last time,

to which there was no reply

 

Sometimes the simplest of things

can be so far away and so precious

perhaps I am undeserving, perhaps

but tonight I will ask once more,

 

“How are you?”

 

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loop

Maybe

I am the only one left hanging

I have no way of knowing

That is why these questions

go on loop

(repeat)

 

Maybe

I am the only one left hanging

I have no way of knowing

That is why these questions

go on loop

(repeat)

 

Maybe

I am the only one left hanging

I have no way of knowing

That is why these questions

go on loop

(repeat)

 

Maybe

I am the only one left hanging

I have no way of knowing

That is why these questions

go on loop

(repeat)

 

Maybe

I am the only one left hanging

I have no way of knowing

That is why these questions

go on loop

(repeat)

 

Maybe

I am the only one left hanging

I have no way of knowing

That is why these questions

go on loop

(repeat)

 

Maybe

I am the only one left hanging

I have no way of knowing

That is why these questions

go on loop

(repeat)

 

Maybe

 

One day the questions will

disintegrate and fade away

along with the flow of time

 

Maybe

Waking up

I’ve gotten used to waking up in the morning

just to deal with the pain of trying to accept this wretched reality

At first it’s just my body feeling it, it knows,

without my consciousness informing it

 

Then it seeps in like a tank of reservoir,

which at long last finds a hole to make its glorious escape,

slowly but surely–until nothing is left,

consciousness hurts

 

I spend the next 15 minutes sitting on the bed,

from bleary to teary, processing reality as if its the first time

I look at my phone, hoping for a miracle of sorts

but it never happens

 

Temptation takes over, to check your account

or to send you a message or even to look at your

beautiful face but i know that would be a beautiful mistake

 

Like a bad nightmare, this happens over and over again

each time I wake, I wonder if I am dreaming or that

I woke up from a bad dream

 

Each time I wonder,

I wonder if I will ever stop wondering

When will my body ever learn,

that you are not coming back again

The Wall II

This wall you built

to keep the undesirable out

runs high and mighty

as our forefathers once did

to keep invaders and crusaders

at bay

 

This wall you built

with no way in

and no way out

a glorious prison

of unknowing

 

This wall you built

keeping me out

and keeping you in

 

Who moves on and

who will set us free?

Rainbow Connection

 

*mangling rainbow connection

 

Rainbows are visions

but only illusions

what’s on the other side?

if there is one

 

Maybe that’s where I will find you

if I searched hard enough—

for the way

 

what if it never rains

or if the rain never ends

not every wish would be

heard and answered

 

but the rainbow calls

and i continue searching

someday i will find it

 

The Last Goodbye

I can turn and walk away,

or I can wait at a distance,

till you and I are both ready,

to say our last goodbyes

 

But the last time always

becomes the last before the last

and the end never ends

Kintsugi

When

  beauty    lies

in    broken

     pieces

and
 art
  comes
   in
    putting
     it
      back


Better

          amalgamation

transcends   original

the broken  cups    and the  broken   bowls

put together with tender love

and a
      golden joint

that
      breathes life

once broken

now anew


What of

t h i ngs t oo b r o
       ken

to be   back
  pieced

part by part

do we now find the beauty

in the broken as aesthetic


Perhaps

we have to declare the death

of things too broken

and respectfully keep them

in a chest deep inside

safely, gently

never to see them again

I stopped time

I stopped time,

so that our love can be eternal,

 

I stopped time,

so that we could continue

from where we left,

 

I stopped time,

because it hurts too much to

move on without you.

 

I stopped time,

not knowing when it will

start once more.

 

I stopped.